A rather random thought, how do you get when you get angry? Do you yell and scream, do you go cold and silent, do you break things or burst into tears and just cry? When I get really angry I will get vocal about it, but for the most part I want to talk about it, I want to say what made me mad and hear what you have to say about it. On the opposite side my partner Mr H wants to be left alone, he does not want to talk or to interact he just wants to fume about the issue and then possibly calm down. Now any anger style is fine and we are lucky that neither of us are prone to breaking things or major outbursts in public places. Basically I want to talk, at first loudly (when I am still in the heat of the moment) then more softly, then I cry. That is the general way a major argument goes for me. For Mr H on the other hand, he will express real pure anger, but it is much colder, and then he goes silent he does not want to talk he wants to be left alone and when he does talk (if he is still angry) then he gets vocal about the argument. The downside? We have opposite anger personalities. This is hard as I want to talk and he wants to be left alone. We usually solve this by both of us sucking it up some, I leave him alone for a while and he talks to me sooner. Now really this is only a problem when we are both mad at each other, if I am mad at him, he knows I want to talk about it and if he is mad at me I leave him well enough alone! Really I guess it goes to show that even when we are fighting we are sill compromising!
So what about you? What is your anger style? Are you a discussion like me, a silent one like Mr H, a Tantrum, or a smasher? Let me know, and if you'd like, tell me about your anger personality compared to your partner, how do you work it out?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Every day in our lives we are faced with choices, what to eat for breakfast, what to wear to work, should I pack a lunch or grab a bite out. There are big choices, such as changing careers, and little choices, such as walking instead of driving the car. Then there are ‘those choices’, the choices that don’t really make a difference in our lives, but still seem to be the source of irritation, grumbling and the occasional loud discussion. In my life one of ‘those choices’ is what movie to watch. Now let me state, we watch A LOT of movies, and when we watch moves which we are both interested in or are in a genre we both like we have no problems. Unfortunately this only lasts so long before we have exhausted all of these movies and are forced to choose something one of us doesn’t want to watch or spend forever looking for something which we might both be interested in. We have spent hours browsing the isles of movie rental establishments or searching in vain for a movie to download. We have watched movies I had no interest in (read hated) and had to force myself to sit though and I have subjected my partner, Mr H, to countless chick flicks, which I am sure he would have rather hung himself than watched. Now don’t get me wrong, I have NO Trouble doing this when the movie is something Mr H really wants to watch (Unless it is Horror which I just can’t do) and I try to save the Chick flicks for my own viewing pleasure when Mr H is otherwise occupied. What I have a problem with is watching a movie that I have no interest in just for the sake of watching a movie. I would prefer to watch a movie from our vast collection, which I have already seen than watch some drivel which I have no interest in. Mr H on the other hand would rather watch the worst B movie in history than re-watch a movie. He argues that the best gems (movie wise) are often things one would not ordinarily watch and come across totally by accident. On this case I have to agree with him, often the best stuff is found un-looked for. At the same time I don’t want to watch Zombie Hookers in Space just because it is getting late and we haven’t found anything better to watch. So each day the choices come and go, and I guess I should be thankful that the worst of ‘those choices’ for me is what movie to watch tonight.